Getting Over Working Mom Guilt
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The thing that most surprised me about motherhood was how fun it is. It really is a blast and I am so grateful that I get to experience all the joys of motherhood.
Being a mom is also really hard. But that wasn’t a surprise because everyone tells you that non-stop for 9 months while you are pregnant. And while I agree that it is super important to be honest with your friends about struggles, because we aren’t doing anyone any favors by only showing our highlight reels (ie: Instagram), we also need to genuinely encourage each other!
In this online world of bloggers and influencers, I have noticed that working moms are often forgotten.
There are so many posts about homeschooling your kids or the 1,000s of activities that you can do with your kids as a stay at home mom, but very few things geared toward working moms.
And working mom guilt can hit us pretty hard. If it isn’t us making ourselves feel guilty, we don’t have to look very far to find someone else who will help us out.
The other day I was listening to a Podcast that I subscribe to and really enjoy called Risen Motherhood. Most of the time, this podcasts tackles topics that we all go through with kids, because obviously, working and stay at home moms aren’t really that different. Episodes cover topics like dealing with grandparents, managing doctor’s appointments and discipline – which are all super helpful topics for any mom.
This podcast is also run by a few stay at home moms who seem to be made for ministry and have a passion for reinforcing the gospel in every aspect of motherhood. But every once in a while, there is a comment made about working moms that have made me feel like maybe I am a bad mom for leaving my kid every day or I am not following God’s will by sending my child to daycare for someone else to watch her while I work 40 hours a week.
And while I usually do let those little comments get to me for a little bit, I realize that every one of us is in a different situation and there isn’t a one size fits all formula for motherhood. Some of us may be working purely out of choice to have something that is ours outside of the home, and some of us may be working because we need that paycheck to pay the bills.
Whatever your reason for choosing to work, don’t let others make you feel guilty about it.
I do highly recommend praying about your decision to work or stay at home. I absolutely feel like God has affirmed my decision to work just like He has affirmed the choices of some of my friends to stay at home.
You aren’t any less of a mother for spending 8 hours a day working. And for some of us, our jobs are changing the world and impacting people’s lives for the better. They say it takes a village to raise a child, which is very true and that village allows for some of its members to step out and use their skills to make greater change throughout the world.
Obviously, your kids still need you as their mom and you want to make sure that you are getting to have a good work-life balance. Be sure you talk to your company about what you might need to balance work and motherhood.
Ask your employer about flex hours or even the option to work from home. I am a firm believer that working from home successfully while trying to watch kids is nearly impossible (unless they nap all day), so I still recommend doing daycare or getting a nanny for those “office hours”. But then you get back all of the time you are spending commuting and can spend that with your kids instead.
You are an amazing momma, no matter where you spend the majority of the daylight hours. Your kids are learning from watching you work and you are showing them first hand, especially your daughters, that they can do anything.
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